To-do list for a Sunday afternoon:
- Wake up at lunch time. Check.
- Watch some God-awful TV. (And here I mean stuff that would make zombies out of living beings, kill these zombies faster than a head shot, and then bring the dead back to life. Still not the Kardashians though. What sort of lowlife do you think I am? Sheesh!) Check.
- Read a book lying in a posture particularly bad for your spine. Check.
- Make plans to go out for a run. But don’t. Check.
- Take 4 naps. Check.
- Apply enough oil in your hair to deep fry a shipment of McDonald’s fries. Check.
- Sit all over the house in different sofas, chairs, and beds, leaving trails of said oil on them. All the time, proclaiming plans of a bath sometime in the near future. Check.
- Do not take said bath until your mom literally locks you up in the bathroom. Check.